The guys from punk rock band F451 came in for an interview recently. They are such a ball of energy those boys. Lead singer Jez was so fired up he could not sit still for 2 seconds. Unfortunately this proved to be very annoying and we had to knock him out with a BA Baracus style 'I ain't going on no plane fool' glass of milk. It was OK though he woke up later with a slight headache and a pair of shaved testicles.
Diarrhea, worse to clear up and harder to spell
My Light Saber keeps turning on, on it's own, whats wrong with it?
You've probably clicked the "turn on at embarrassing moments" button, switch it off!
The Monkey I got for Xmas just threw poo at me. Should I trade him in for a Spitting Cobra?
Probably, cobra's got no arms, right? So they can't throw. But you might need some goggles.
Fancy Dress? - What shall I go as?
Deep sea leviathan, we'll be marking you on number of tentacles and eyes
Ever feel like sitting around naked with friends?
Depends who the friends are. Our friends are pretty fit, so yeah
What is Chelmsford famous for?
Being really really boring. Shakespeare AND Dickens thought it was a dump. It was just a Roman stop off point from London to Colchester. But there's some good people here, we try and make it more interesting.
Biffy Clyro fans chant 'Mon the Biffy' at their gigs, what would you want chanted at yours?
"We know all the words to your songs and think you're really great"
What's worse, Constipation or Diarrhea?
Diarrhea, worse to clear up and harder to spell.
Do you take your car to a mechanic so he can hug you & listen to you but not fix the problem?
No, who does this? Lonely women?
What is your favourite font?
We've been using Arial Black lately, but it's about as subtle as a fisting by an elephant. Century Gothic still has a special place.
Do you have a date with destiny?
Yes, next Friday at the Thai place down the road, table for two.
Interviews 
